Be careful what you ask for

I was wondering what to do about several options for this summer; I would need to decide pretty soon about one of them.

- Fortieth high school reunion. One of my high school classmates was kind enough to come to my Mother's funeral, and that put me in mind of these people with whom I shared those years. I would like to see them again.

- The Hymn Society of America conference, in Winnipeg. I love Canada, and have told myself that if the conference ever came to Manitoba or Saskatchewan, I would go. Well, here it is.

- A visit to my sister, as I did last year.

- A visit to my cousins and other family, and to the farm that we own “back home.” I cannot do both this and a visit to my sister, so I have not seen the rest of the family since the aforementioned funeral. I have only walked around on the farm once since it came into our possession quite a few years ago, and I would like to see it again. I wonder, too, about my responsibilities toward that piece of land. Family property or not, if I cannot be there to look after it, perhaps we should sell it to someone who can. Here is a bit more about the farm, wherein we had a "near miss" on selling the mineral rights. Fracking was in the background and was clearly the intent of the purchasers, though they carefully hid the consequences from the landowners and I did not then understand what was afoot. I continue to thank God that the deal fell through. My invitation still stands: "... when all things are made new, come and visit me. I will be up there in the hills, planting trees, or playing Bach, or sitting on the porch as the sun goes behind the hill drinking a cool glass of water from the spring. I'll pour one for you, too."

- Stay home and work. As much as I enjoy long highway trips, it is environmentally irresponsible to do any traveling that is not necessary. This applies to all of the options outlined above. The responsible thing to do would be to stay at home. I might then be better prepared for the fall choir season. I might even read some of the books that overflow my shelves at home.

- At my recent staff evaluation with the Rector, he asked that I select a date in the fall to play an organ recital, and inform him of the date. If I am going to do this, I will have to get all of the music “settled” and ready to play by mid-August, because I know from experience that there will be time for no more than maintenance practice once the choir season begins on August 22.

These decisions have been a matter of prayer, and seemed to come to the fore yesterday. Today brought me something of an answer. We had our spring planning day as a church staff, and I watched my summer pretty much disappear, especially the month of June. The first Sunday when I am not committed to duty is July 8, and that seems very distant.

Answers to prayer are not always what we want to hear. It is sounding to me like I need to stay home and work. Even if I do this, I do not see how I can prepare a fall recital. After today's news, it is clear that the whole month of June will be a matter of scrambling from one Sunday to the next, just like the rest of the year, so that leaves July and half of August – and RSCM takes a week out of that. So on that part of my prayers, I think I am hearing that I must aim for a later date. I would suggest fall 2013, but that is contingent on summer 2013 being better than summer 2012.

But I must not feel sorry for myself. Sunday night, I sought a quotation for the weekly Order of Rehearsal sheet for the adult choir, and saw this. It is a reminder that the sort of thing I have described is the normal lot of a musician, and that the work is important enough to persevere:

Often, when contending with obstacles of every sort that interfered with my work, often when my powers of both body and mind were failing and I felt it a hard matter to persevere in the course I had entered on, a secret feeling within me whispered: 'There are but few contented and happy men here below: grief and care prevail everywhere; perhaps your labors may one day be a source from which the weary and worn, or the man burdened with affairs, may derive a few moments' rest and refreshment.' What a powerful motive for pressing onward! (Joseph Haydn)

On another note, yesterday was the feast of King Charles the Martyr. I revere his saintly memory and his stand on behalf of the Church and the poor and needy of the realm, and that of his coworker and Archbishop William Laud. Mention of these two arouses strong negative reactions among some of my co-workers, so I will say no more. I will, however, provide two links:

Tobias Haller BSG

Kiefer's Bios

From Kiefer's biographical sketch:

In his struggle with his opponents, Charles considered himself to be contending for two things:
(1) the good of the realm and the liberty and well-being of the people, which he believed would be better served by the monarch ruling according to ancient precedent, maintaining the traditional rights of the people as enshrined in the common law, than by a Parliament that ended up denying that it was either bound by the law or accountable to the people; and
(2) the Church of England, preaching the doctrine of the undivided Church of the first ten centuries, administering sacraments regarded not as mere psychological aids to devotion but as vehicles of the presence and activity of God in his Church, governed by bishops who had been consecrated by bishops who had been consecrated by bishops... back certainly to the second century, and, as many have believed, back to the Twelve Apostles and to the command of Christ himself.

From Haller's essay:

Not that Charles was perfect. He was as flawed as any saint on the Calendar, the BVM excepted, of course. But in the day of decision, he stood for something — not only as a lay leader defending the episcopate, or as a pious Christian defending the Prayer Book, but in witness to a whole religious way of life, a way we call Anglicanism.